let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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