so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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