My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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