Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
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Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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