Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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