You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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