swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize