my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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