you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
