My first STD was from a foam party
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I supernannyed him into submission
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
