I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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