We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
