I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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