Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
worst night to have a conscience
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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