shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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