Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
