She announced her abortion via fbk
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
