somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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