even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
