..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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