my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
