I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
