Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
