I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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