I am midnight drunk by noon
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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