that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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