then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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