her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
