we're chasing vodka with high fives
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
3 2 1 whiskey
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
