Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm bleeding and have questions
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
