I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
