You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
