dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
