im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The air taste purple.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
