You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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