Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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