My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
