All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend