if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
I'm just looking out for you.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts