I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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