Cold hands, warm shart.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
