Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
