Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
