come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
