I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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