he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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