She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
