i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
