The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
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you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
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I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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