i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
