have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
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