glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize