hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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