My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
