And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize