Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm bleeding and have questions
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
