im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so let's talk penis.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
