Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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