If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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