I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
