Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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